Monday, 23 November 2015

THE CHRONICLES OF LEO: The Conquest of Kamienna Góra

Enchanted places have always exercised fascination over the mankind. Poets and writers poured streams of ink over the fabulous Avalon or Atlantis, as well as hundreds of adventurers left family and house, gambling on the existence of the overwhelming treasures of El Dorado. Centuries ago, at the down of the age of science and technology, some brave people, eager of becoming ridiculously rich and famous discovering a new world for taking the Truth of Semper Avanti, decided to leave for an epic journey. Destination: the legendary land of Kamienna Góra. This is their story, based on some memories we have obtained.   

Along with the supreme admiral Michal, Martyna (vice admiral and in charge of security), Paulina (commodore, in charge of logistics), Özgür (fearless ottoman sailor, veteran of Lepanto battle) and Leonardo (chronicler, cabin boy, jester and scapegoat). The latter wrote: “There is an undeniable advantage of leaving for a legendary place in our times in comparison with centuries ago: ancient adventurers had just their faith in God to trust in, they have Google. And our God is much more powerful than their one. Full of hope and self-confidence, we left Wroclaw early on the morning. Holy year 2015, 16 November.”

The travel was quite long and full of risks. After crossing forests, mountains and deserts, facing dragons, trolls and highway patrols, the Big Five, exhausted but glad, finally saw the marvellous walls of the kingdom of Kamienna Góra. As soon as the indigenous saw them, their car, their appearance (“especially the ginger chronicler, handsome according to the most” but the reliability of this sentence is highly disputed), they thought they were the gods their legends talk about. Michal confirmed so and told them they were there for the gold for spreading the Word of Semper Avanti. In the blink of an eye, the authorities received them.

As far as we know, the magnificence of the royal palace of Kamienna Góra was astounding: “..everywhere on the wall you could see golden inserts, the floor was as neat as crystal do and all the girls were awesome..”. Besides, Leonardo was struck by “..water, an ocean of water in bottles, with gas, even the one without gas, had gas..”.

In front of a huge audience, Leonardo and Ozgur, the most expendable ones, tried to persuade kamiennans of the Truth: what is the EVS and the importance of attending it for reaching a superior state of mind, free of prejudices and stereotypes about people, mainly foreigners. They showed pictures and quoted some episodes of their own experiences to get more persuasive. Yet, maybe because of the linguistic barrier or the young age, the natives didn’t show enough excitement about it. As you can easily imagine, the crew kept on with the mission anyway.  

The chronicler states that they came back little after, bringing away just some hundreds bottles of water. Nevertheless, again, the reliability of him is more than questionable. As far as we know, from other sources, due to their superior means, the fistful of pioneers easily took the control of Kamienna Góra, showing astonishing cruelty against the inhabitants. The treasures of Kamienna were looted and people enslaved and deported to Wroclaw for building new furniture. Kamienna Góra became the cornerstone of what we know today as “Semper Avanti Empire”.

~ The End ~

 
    


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